It might sound blindingly obvious but the ceremony really is the most important part of any wedding day as it is the actual ceremony which marks the day apart from purely a party or celebration. For some the ceremony is a formality but for others the ceremony is a hugely important event and lots of time and effort is invested. It’s important that you choose the right type and style of ceremony for you as today there are many options but it’s amazing how many people still believe that you only have the choice of religious or civil which is a great shame.
Photograph by Pippa Mackenzie Photography www.pippamackenziephotography.com
I can’t possibly cover every ceremony style here. On the training courses I sometimes tutor with www.ukawp.com we dedicate almost a whole morning to covering the different types of ceremony that wedding planners should know about but here are some of the most popular and my favourite ones:
Religious ceremony – for example in your local parish church – your classic option and an obvious choice if you are a regular church goer and part of the church community. It’s also an option even if you don’t regularly go to church with your local parish only. Nowaways I’ve found churches more willing to be flexible on the choice of readings and including some music which is modern (and not based on hymns). The service does tend to follow a certain traditional format however and the content is at the discretion of the minister marrying you. Most churches have organs, a resident choir and sometimes bell ringers so these aspects are your church classics! There is nearly always a rehearsal the day before which can be a great chance to put everyone’s mind at rest and inform everyone of exactly where they sit/stand and when.
Photograph by Darren Guy Photography www.darrenguyphotography.co.uk
Civil ceremony – conducted by a registrar in either your local register office or, a far more popular option, in a licensed venue. This is by far the most usual way of marrying and understandably so. It’s very simple, with relatively little paperwork, a selection of standard vows and declarations offered with personalisation of readings and music (which must be non-religious). I have worked with lots of wonderful Registrars who have a great personality and lead a lovely service. Do bear in mind that most of them have a large workload so don’t have a chance to really get to know the couple, so although personalisation is very do-able, there isn’t so much guidance on this aspect as there would be with the options mentioned below. Often the couple would not personally meet the Registrar conducting the service before the day. There isn’t a chance of a rehearsal either which can lead to more than a few nerves for many a bridal party.
Humanist, Interfaith Blessing, Non-legal ceremony – these terms can be very confusing and I’d suggest a look at the links at the end of this piece to gain an understanding of some of the options but these are the types of ceremony which allow the greatest personalisation and have been some of the most beautiful I’ve helped plan. From couples with different religious backgrounds who wanted to incorporate both in an intimate garden ceremony to couples who have married elsewhere and wanted a very bespoke “blessing” ceremony to those seeking an entirely non-religious yet moving and touching humanist ceremony, the options are limitless. All of the above ceremonies are non-legal so have to be preceded by a small legal ceremony such as at the register office, however, they offer lots of opportunity to really inject personality.
A typical independent celebrant would meet the couple often at least twice and work with them using their very diverse experience to design a ceremony which is totally them, using for example personally written vows, appropriate readings as well as numerous symbolic gestures which can be drawn from many traditions and cultures. Recent examples have been the burning of the unity candle, a hand-tying ceremony and grinding of sugar over the happy couple in the Persian tradition. There is often a lot of laughter at such ceremonies as the celebrant always gets to know the couple very well and often injects a certain amount of heartfelt humour which can be very moving. There really are no limits as to what can be done and are often a great way of including your nearest and dearest in many ways.
Photograph by Pippa Mackenzie Photography www.pippamackenziephotography.com
I recommend a good look at the following example links to give you more on some of the lesser known ceremony types.
Links:
http://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/non-religious-weddings/
http://www.uk-celebrant.co.uk/weddings.html
http://www.civilceremonies.co.uk
If you have any questions on your ceremony do ask away here and I’ll check back for comments and do my best to answer.
Happy Planning!